This is still relevant... We are fine..but, don't ever tell abuse victims that they should take care of the abuser. It took years to get out and stay out. But, we still run into people that say we should go back and take care of the monster. Hell no! Don't ask an abuse victim to go back into the situation. If the abuser has fallen on hard times it's their responsibility to make their life better. The victim usually spent months/years and all their energy trying to fix the abuser. It is so hard to leave an abuser. It takes a long time to gather the will to leave and decide that we deserve better. The abuse has taken its toll, physically and mentally. Possessions and friendships had to be left behind. We have left behind everything we worked so hard for. Worse is the fact that our self-respect is gone. It takes so long to get the spiderwebs out of our minds. The self-doubt the abuser put there takes a long time to get over. Some damage will never be repaired. Realizing that people are willing to accept the lies about you is hard. But, it is better to cut those people out of your life. If you are so worried about the abuser YOU take care of them. You have no idea of the hell we have been through. What's worse are the people that know of the abuse and excuse it. Even if we were wrong sometimes nothing excuses the torture we were put through. We do not have to justify ourselves to anyone. Remember this, an unreasonable person can't be reasoned with. A person can only be helped if they really want help. Some people enjoy playing the victim.
This is even more relevant right now. We have someone that has been trying to make us go back to take care of the abuser. Not happening. I told the person they can take the abuser into their home and leave us alone.
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