humorous, and others call out the deceased for truly abhorrent behavior. I love these
obits. You can see who the deceased truly was. Not platitudes and glossing over bad
behavior. So, I made an obituary for my ex.
It was freeing and when he dies I may actually have something like this put in the paper.
I may let my son write one. That one would be nuclear war-level truth.
KA
minor holiday- ?
KA was born on a minor holiday in Georgia. It was probably a dark and stormy night. KA was
a Sprinkler Fitter when he felt like working. For a while, he had a very good reputation as a
skilled tradesman. He thoroughly destroyed this reputation and any goodwill towards him as
time progressed. It really takes a lot of bad behavior to be homeless in your hometown where
you have numerous relatives and ex-friends.
KA graduated in 1984. This was made possible by KA threatening to burn down his English
teacher's house.
KA is predeceased by his parents, and two siblings that died in infancy, KA's survivors can
now come out of hiding. A wife who never filed for divorce because it would be unsafe for KA
to know the area she lived. Three children who still bear the emotional scars of being
raised in the same household as KA, a long-suffering brother, and six glorious grandchildren.
Thank goodness his grandchildren will never have to suffer abuse from KA.
He enjoyed alcoholism and narcissism. I can't say he suffered from these conditions.
He enjoyed them a great deal while his family suffered because of his behavior.
KA’s propensity for violence began very early. He was kicked out of a family daycare for
biting a smaller child so severely that the little girl almost had a chunk bitten out of her back.
In kindergarten, his mother had to meet with the principal for his violent outbursts. He once
knocked down another boy and proceeded to kick him in the head repeatedly with cowboy
boots. Victims of KA’s violence grew to include family members, friends, coworkers,
neighbors, and anyone who didn't agree with KA.
KA had charm. Many of his older family members adored him, but this eventually changed. In the beginning, he was always willing to lend a
helping hand. Unless it interfered with something important like fishing, hanging
out with friends, and getting high. These older family members usually had some medication
that they were happy to share with KA because of his "Bad back".The relatives eventually
realized that KA never went to the doctor as promised
to see about his “bad back”. KA always tried to get people to think favorably of him.
Unless he realized they saw behind his facade of fake friendliness.
From his early teens, KA honed his skills at thievery. He stole from family, friends,
coworkers, and employers. He enjoyed stealing beer from the gas station he worked at
as a teen. As an adult, he found it thrilling to steal alcohol and drugs from his friends while
they worked or slept. Later he stole from his wife and children any chance he could. Every
few days the family had to find new spots to hide money and car keys.
KA was capable of great emotions. He proved this by crying every time he watched
Steel Magnolias.
Most of the time his emotions were rage and a deep sense of entitlement and victimhood.
KA was highly skilled at growing marijuana on other people’s land. He was adept at sucking
all joy out of the room with his presence and snide comments. He enjoyed trying to
embarrass his family at every opportunity.
Now that KA has passed everyone that knew him can breathe a sigh of relief. His family
has already grieved for KA. They grieved as he squandered his life and did his best to
torment the people unfortunate enough to love him.
Out of respect for his family please do not send flowers. Donate to your local domestic
violence shelter.
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