Zombie Apocalypse Team

 Zombie Apocalypse Team

When my youngest son was about 14 years old we began taking long walks at about 8 p.m. We lived out in the country. It was quiet and we discussed many things.

I remember J telling me the story of The Black-Eyed kids. Look that up. Pretty interesting and a good way to scare yourself. This night was extremely dark and the stars and moon weren’t visible. We were about two miles from home when J told me the story. I was properly spooked by the time we got home. I don’t think I slept that night.

We enjoyed zombie movies, books, and television shows. One night we started devising a plan on what we would have to do to survive “The Zombie Apocalypse”. We specifically talked about resources in our area. Over time we added more details to the plan. We tried to figure out how long we needed to hide at home. We discussed how we thought people in our area would react. I'm pretty sure we decided that two weeks was the right amount of time to let the dust settle. The initial panic would have calmed down and hopefully, people would have left the area. We talked about what resources to gather and what would increase the odds of long term survival. There was a military base nearby and we would need some military vehicles to roll over anything in our path. We tried to be strategic and make logical plans.

I don't believe a Zombie Apocalypse will ever happen. But, I used zombies as an example of civilization breaking down. I used these discussions as a thought exercise on how to save my loved ones in case of disaster. I may use the plans in a writing experiment one day. This was a fun way to pass the time on our walks.

When my future daughter-in-law joined the walks she didn’t know what to think about our Zombie Apocalypse plans. The amount of planning we had devoted to this shocked her. After listening to us she realized we weren’t batshit crazy.  We just loved to run our mouths to pass the time.

Occasionally I will still bring up my Zombie Apocalypse Team. These are the people I want to save and would be an asset in our quest for survival. I have excluded some people with skills and knowledge that would be useful. These people may have desirable skills or knowledge. But, they have shown themselves to be unreliable and unable to use good judgment. They have demonstrated behavior that is self-centered and disregards health and safety issues. I believe they would be a liability.

The main reason I have excluded people is I would rather get eaten by a zombie than survive the Apocalypse ( of any kind) in their company.

I haven’t excluded people because of physical limitations. If someone makes good decisions and I enjoy their company I want them on my team. Children and the elderly must be protected. I would fight through hordes of zombies to make sure the kiddos and my dad are safe.

The amount of time I have given to figuring out how to save the cats is ridiculous.If the team was on foot I think the cats would be fine. The cats would follow us and hopefully have enough sense to avoid the zombies and other dangers. One problem is the zombies would smell intriguing and this may interest the cats.

I'm not sure if we could save most of the dogs. They make entirely too much noise and some of the dogs are dumber than a box of hammers. But, I would have to try. My oldest son, T, would abandon the team if we didn’t try to save the dogs. He would wear a sling baby carrier carrying a half-blind, half-senile, mostly bald, and bad-tempered chihuahua. The rest of his motley crew of dogs would surround us and gallop through the Apocalypse, falling over their own feet. Imagine the Bumpus Hounds from The Christmas Story movie.

So, if you would like to be on my team, talk nonsense about outlandish scenarios, and love to run your mouth, hit me up. :)