Ms. Book, Ms. Book this is the Principal calling

Last year I wrote something about my youngest grandson's future first few days of school. 

B takes off all his clothes when he uses the bathroom. Then demands help to put them back on. And when we try to make him go to bed he will lay on the floor and say his legs don’t work. This is how I foresee the first day of school.

10 am. the Phone rings. Answer. Ms. Book, we have a problem and need you to come up here.

Why, what’s wrong?

Well, we are having a problem with B. We need you to put his clothes back on.

What?!?!? Why is he naked?

Well, he had to use the bathroom. After a few minutes, we went looking for him. His clothes were by the sink and he was naked in the stall. We have tried to get him to put his clothes on. He refuses. Says we need to help. Ms. Book, legally we are not allowed to touch a naked child. Ms. Book, his teacher says he is now laying on the floor and says his legs don’t work. Ms. Book, please come put clothes on your child.

Day 2.

11 am. Ms. Book, can you come up here. We have a problem with B.

What happened now?

Well, Ms. Book, B wanted ice cream. They can only get ice cream on Fridays. Ms. Book, B heard me tell you that we aren’t legally allowed to touch a naked child. So, he took off all his clothes and threw them at the lunch ladies. He told the other kids that we can’t touch them if they are naked. Ms. Book, I now have 112 naked kids in the lunchroom demanding ice cream.

Who knows what will happen on the third day.

  

The Wild Bunch

August 2

My dad was born in the 1950s. His grandpa was with his second wife and a whole batch of other kids. These aunts and uncles were around my dad's age. They were my dad's childhood/sometimes adulthood best friends. They rambled all over South Alabama, got into minor trouble, smoked cigarettes, flirted with pretty girls, and did all the things that southern boys do.

The uncles all died before my dad. The last one was about a month before my dad passed. And I think that when Wallace "Hambone" died my dad was ready to go. He wanted to see my Mama, his sister, his mama, etc.

But I think he wanted to meet up with his uncles and reminisce about all the good times, the struggles, and the places they used to hang out. I think they are all together. They are watching over the enormous dynasty they created. They are wreaking havoc and telling tall tales.  I don't think the hereafter is ready for the Wild Bunch to be together again.

So, if hear the whisper of voices laughing, I know the boys are up to something and want to share.

 

 Going Home

 

One day in the early 1960’s a fresh-faced airman from South Alabama needed to get a new id at Robins AFB in Warner Robins, Georgia. As he was going about his business he came across a really cute clerk typist who had a devilish sparkle in her eye. The rest is written in the sands of time. A dynasty was born. This was my parents. A few years after they got married they had me, then a few more years and my Baby Brother was born. My parents had 9 grandkids and 13 great-grandkids.

The Air Force took us all over the world. Dad and Mom traveled all over Spain, where I was born. Every few conversations Dad talked about standing before Queen Isabella’s throne.  Dad thoroughly enjoyed all that Spain had to offer. He has told the tale of his lasagne for years. He came across an Italian woman in Spain and she gave him his glorious lasagne recipe. It gave my Dad great joy to make a massive lasagne and then share it with family and friends. Dad was in a bar in Spain when the US astronauts landed on the moon. Somewhere there is an ashtray that Dad took from the bar and labeled with the date and event.

After Spain, we were stationed in Fort Worth, Texas. We traveled all over that great state. Somewhere Paul and I have our Dinosaur Hunting Licenses from Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glen Rose, Texas.

After Texas Dad was stationed in Korea. Mom, Me, and Paul went to stay in Warner Robins while he was gone. Dad bought a little motorcycle. He had to get permission from the base commander to buy the motorcycle. Dad rode that thing all over the place. Up to his death, he would tell everyone about riding his motorcycle in the Yellow Sea.

Next up was Luke AFB in Phoenix, AZ. We went to every Native American historical place in that state. We went to the Grand Canyon, Sunset Crater, The Petrified Forest, Oak Creek Canyon, the Chapel of the Holy Cross, Bedrock City,  explored Ghost Towns, and every other landmark Arizona had to offer. Mostly though we picnicked in the White Tank Mountains. We rode motorcycles, almost fell into abandoned gold mines, and had a great time.

We were stationed in a few other places and enjoyed them. Dad loved exploring everything a place had to offer.  He loved eating the food different places offered and exploring the cultures of other places.  If we lived close to Georgia or Alabama we made regular visits back to see our family. We walked the land and Dad told us all about his childhood. He also warned us about the dreaded Alabama Wampus Cat. We traveled back and forth across the country many times and stopped at numerous Roadside Attractions.

We traveled the world. But, when Dad retired and moved back to Alabama it soothed his soul. Every visit we made to him he rode us all over South Alabama, telling us all the places he lived, that this cousin used to live at this spot, so and so was running from the law and ran off the road and ended up in that pond.  He told us about hitting some tree in the pasture with the tractor. To this day that tree doesn't look healthy.

About 15 years ago I came to help him when he had his gall bladder out. We sat up that night. He told me that when his time came to an end he wanted to be on the farm. And he was. I know that made him happy.  As soon as we got him home he was ready to go. He is reunited with Mama and his other family members that went before him. He will be laid to rest very close to his parents, and sister Gloria.

Dad was the smartest person I ever met. Family meant everything to him. I hope he will be proud of all of us as he watches over us..

 

Thunderbirds, a scary cat, and shadows

April 6

I have always loved spooky stories. From the time I could read, I had a book full of ghostly tales. I didn't know if the stories were true, but tales of ghosts, cryptids, and the undead fascinated me.

When I was 7 or 8 years old I remember the tabloids being full of stories about Thunderbirds, modern-day pterodactyls, screeching through the sky, and snatching up animals and small kids. Hey, I was a small kid with an even smaller baby brother. It's not going to happen on my watch. Imagine a tiny little Lola scanning the skies for danger while the other kids played on the monkey bars. I wonder if the kids ever realized they could have been a snack for the Thunderbirds if it wasn't for my vigilance.

Anytime we visited my Dad’s family in lower Alabama, the grownups always warned us to be careful while exploring the woods and pastures. The Alabama Wampus Cat was always lurking about. And a small child was a delicacy it craved. I remember watching Kolchak: The Night Stalker late at night on those visits.
Kolchak introduced me to new monsters: the loup-garou/rougarou, zombies, mummies, and the Mesopotamian Succubus. Heady stuff.
When I was 14 I got drunk for the first time. Tsk tsk. I was visiting a friend who’d moved back to her hometown. It was a tiny, middle-of-nowhere Arizona town on the border with Mexico. My friend and I went to bed when we realized how intoxicated we were. A little while later I had to use the restroom. As I returned to the bedroom I saw a tall, shadowy form looming over the bed. I woke my friend. We turned on the lights. Nothing there. But, she believed me. My friend’s family was Hispanic. The next morning we talked with my friend’s mom about what I'd seen. She told me a legend that the first time someone gets drunk a spirit follows them home. I have no idea if she just made this story up. I have never heard of or read it anywhere else. Unfortunately, I have been very intoxicated many times in the past. And I have never had a hallucination or seen anything similar again.
I know I’ve told y’all about Green Eyes, the monster who lived near my grandparents.

Over the years I have continued reading and watching stories about ghosts, mythical creatures, and other haunting things. I never had any personal experiences with the paranormal or haunting things until…..

When my youngest son was in middle school we moved out of town into the country. It was a nice spot with woods and trails for the kids to explore. At the back of the house, we had sliding glass doors that faced the woods. There were floor-length, vertical window blinds in front of the windows. We kept these shut at night. Weird things started happening. Things didn't feel right. We would regularly get up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water, check the doors, etc. And we would always move the blinds slightly to look into the woods. Every time we did this a huge cat would be on the top step staring into our home. This cat looked like he’d be a massive football player if he were in human form.  He was mostly black with a few white tufts of fur on his chest and head. And I swear this cat looked like he had fangs. I can not describe the feeling of unease that settled on us whenever we saw this cat. If we saw him in daylight he would stare at us at the wood line. We named this cat Lestat. To this day my kids talk about Lestat and how he just felt ominous.

Several months after moving in I was on the computer late at night. My son was near me, and my daughter was in her bedroom.  Suddenly a loud metallic scraping sound emanated from the front of the house. All of us stopped whatever we were doing, jumped up, ran to the front door, and went to see what was making this god-awful sound.  Nothing there.  We all made sure we’d heard the same thing and eventually went to bed. The next morning my son and I walked the perimeter of our property to see if we could see any signs of what caused the noise. We didn’t really find anything. Except…it looked like three fingerprints had been burned into the screen covering my son’s window.
My son usually had friends spend the night on weekends and in the summer.  One Saturday morning we were all in the dining room area talking. The boys told me none of them had been able to sleep on Friday night. They kept seeing shadows moving under the door. There was a 3-inch gap between the bottom of the door and the floor.  All the boys swore this had actually happened and I was trying to figure out a logical explanation.
We had a piano in the dining room. The lid was down and the keys were covered. No one was sitting or standing next to the piano.  As we were talking the piano played 4 to 5 notes. We instantly shut up. We all agreed not to talk about spooky stuff in the house anymore. Enough creepy things going on that I talked to a friend who was part of a paranormal investigation group.  I was exploring the possibility of having her group check out the house for me. My husband vetoed the idea. I do wish I had followed through with the investigation.
There was a lot of negative energy and emotions in the household. I think this caused something to manifest and use that energy.
A few years later I was at my daughter-in-law’s parents’ house.  My daughter-in-law was upstairs dyeing her hair red. She wanted to surprise her mom. I was downstairs in the kitchen talking to her mom. I was facing the hallway and I saw the form of a girl wearing a pale blue 1950s crinoline skirt crouched over and creeping into the master bedroom. It took me a minute to process that this wasn’t my daughter-in-law. In later talks with my daughter-in-law's mom, she told me that she regularly saw and heard things that couldn’t explain. She did her best to ignore the unexplained occurrences.
When I lived in Lower Alabama I worked at a church. The church was the first church established in town- in 1883. In 1903 the current church was built in the High Victorian Gothic style that was popular for churches at the time. The church property was large. It took up a whole city block. Multiple buildings are connected by stairways and staircases. Mostly I worked alone. Many times I would be the only person in a building. One morning I was walking down the first-floor hallway in the original part of the church. I saw shadowy feet and lower legs walk directly in front of me and through the wall and disappear. Several times if I was in the hallway directly above this area I could hear an elderly man speaking. Once I heard him quizzically ask, “No??” The music director told me she regularly heard singing in the choir room when she was alone. It felt like a memory looping into the present time. Or a former member of the church who wanted to stay in the place that brought them peace and happiness.
About a year ago we moved into our current home. Lots of rooms, in the country, on 3 acres of land, and surrounded by dense woods. My grandkids aren’t afraid of anything. Except for bees, and flies. Last year we were living in an apartment. There were several times that I got up at 10 or 11 pm and found the boys had unlocked the patio door and were playing in the courtyard. So, definitely not afraid of the dark or anything in it.
Soon after we moved into the new house the kids started seeing shadows. My youngest grandson refused to go into any room by himself. Things just felt unsettled. My middle grandson came into my room late one night. His heart was beating wildly and he had a hard time getting words out. He finally told me that he had been in his bed playing on his tablet and heard a loud sigh directly by his ear. Things just kept occurring. Small things. But, the kids were scared and I wasn’t feeling good about the situation.
I talked to my neighbor who has lived in the neighborhood for over 30 years. Multiple houses have burned down on our road. There are less than 15 houses on the road. A few houses down from us two people were murdered by a drug dealer. The dealer believed the victims had reported his activities to the police.  A few years later a different family lived in the home. A two-year-old choked to death on a piece of dog food.  Another neighbor drowned in his own pond. And, I found out that kids were molested on the property we live on. It seems like an unusual amount of mayhem for a small, rural road.
I did a little research and talked to a few people. I bought sage and one morning when I was alone I walked through the house with burning sage. I chanted a simple mantra that asked for positivity and cleansing. Things calmed down. I recently saged the house again because of some mild spookiness.
In January we added extra security cameras outside the house because of some neighborhood shenanigans. When movement is detected for more than 10 seconds recordings begin, never more than a 30-second recording. If the alarm is turned on the cameras emit a warning sound. The multiple cameras are angled so there aren’t any blind spots near doors or windows.
This morning two backyard cameras recorded 10 separate events. And recorded for 90 seconds each time. The cameras labeled the events as person-detected.
The animals weren’t in the area. The wind wasn’t blowing. We checked the recordings. Nothing moving on the cameras.
If this happens again I’m salting all the doorways and windowsills. I will have sage candles burning in the house. And if anything really weird happens I’m calling in reinforcements. We have a friend of a friend who is a priest who blesses houses and pets.
I don’t have enough sage to cleanse 3 acres.