Ms. Book, Ms. Book this is the Principal calling

Last year I wrote something about my youngest grandson's future first few days of school. 

B takes off all his clothes when he uses the bathroom. Then demands help to put them back on. And when we try to make him go to bed he will lay on the floor and say his legs don’t work. This is how I foresee the first day of school.

10 am. the Phone rings. Answer. Ms. Book, we have a problem and need you to come up here.

Why, what’s wrong?

Well, we are having a problem with B. We need you to put his clothes back on.

What?!?!? Why is he naked?

Well, he had to use the bathroom. After a few minutes, we went looking for him. His clothes were by the sink and he was naked in the stall. We have tried to get him to put his clothes on. He refuses. Says we need to help. Ms. Book, legally we are not allowed to touch a naked child. Ms. Book, his teacher says he is now laying on the floor and says his legs don’t work. Ms. Book, please come put clothes on your child.

Day 2.

11 am. Ms. Book, can you come up here. We have a problem with B.

What happened now?

Well, Ms. Book, B wanted ice cream. They can only get ice cream on Fridays. Ms. Book, B heard me tell you that we aren’t legally allowed to touch a naked child. So, he took off all his clothes and threw them at the lunch ladies. He told the other kids that we can’t touch them if they are naked. Ms. Book, I now have 112 naked kids in the lunchroom demanding ice cream.

Who knows what will happen on the third day.

  

The Wild Bunch

August 2

My dad was born in the 1950s. His grandpa was with his second wife and a whole batch of other kids. These aunts and uncles were around my dad's age. They were my dad's childhood/sometimes adulthood best friends. They rambled all over South Alabama, got into minor trouble, smoked cigarettes, flirted with pretty girls, and did all the things that southern boys do.

The uncles all died before my dad. The last one was about a month before my dad passed. And I think that when Wallace "Hambone" died my dad was ready to go. He wanted to see my Mama, his sister, his mama, etc.

But I think he wanted to meet up with his uncles and reminisce about all the good times, the struggles, and the places they used to hang out. I think they are all together. They are watching over the enormous dynasty they created. They are wreaking havoc and telling tall tales.  I don't think the hereafter is ready for the Wild Bunch to be together again.

So, if hear the whisper of voices laughing, I know the boys are up to something and want to share.

 

 Going Home

 

One day in the early 1960’s a fresh-faced airman from South Alabama needed to get a new id at Robins AFB in Warner Robins, Georgia. As he was going about his business he came across a really cute clerk typist who had a devilish sparkle in her eye. The rest is written in the sands of time. A dynasty was born. This was my parents. A few years after they got married they had me, then a few more years and my Baby Brother was born. My parents had 9 grandkids and 13 great-grandkids.

The Air Force took us all over the world. Dad and Mom traveled all over Spain, where I was born. Every few conversations Dad talked about standing before Queen Isabella’s throne.  Dad thoroughly enjoyed all that Spain had to offer. He has told the tale of his lasagne for years. He came across an Italian woman in Spain and she gave him his glorious lasagne recipe. It gave my Dad great joy to make a massive lasagne and then share it with family and friends. Dad was in a bar in Spain when the US astronauts landed on the moon. Somewhere there is an ashtray that Dad took from the bar and labeled with the date and event.

After Spain, we were stationed in Fort Worth, Texas. We traveled all over that great state. Somewhere Paul and I have our Dinosaur Hunting Licenses from Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glen Rose, Texas.

After Texas Dad was stationed in Korea. Mom, Me, and Paul went to stay in Warner Robins while he was gone. Dad bought a little motorcycle. He had to get permission from the base commander to buy the motorcycle. Dad rode that thing all over the place. Up to his death, he would tell everyone about riding his motorcycle in the Yellow Sea.

Next up was Luke AFB in Phoenix, AZ. We went to every Native American historical place in that state. We went to the Grand Canyon, Sunset Crater, The Petrified Forest, Oak Creek Canyon, the Chapel of the Holy Cross, Bedrock City,  explored Ghost Towns, and every other landmark Arizona had to offer. Mostly though we picnicked in the White Tank Mountains. We rode motorcycles, almost fell into abandoned gold mines, and had a great time.

We were stationed in a few other places and enjoyed them. Dad loved exploring everything a place had to offer.  He loved eating the food different places offered and exploring the cultures of other places.  If we lived close to Georgia or Alabama we made regular visits back to see our family. We walked the land and Dad told us all about his childhood. He also warned us about the dreaded Alabama Wampus Cat. We traveled back and forth across the country many times and stopped at numerous Roadside Attractions.

We traveled the world. But, when Dad retired and moved back to Alabama it soothed his soul. Every visit we made to him he rode us all over South Alabama, telling us all the places he lived, that this cousin used to live at this spot, so and so was running from the law and ran off the road and ended up in that pond.  He told us about hitting some tree in the pasture with the tractor. To this day that tree doesn't look healthy.

About 15 years ago I came to help him when he had his gall bladder out. We sat up that night. He told me that when his time came to an end he wanted to be on the farm. And he was. I know that made him happy.  As soon as we got him home he was ready to go. He is reunited with Mama and his other family members that went before him. He will be laid to rest very close to his parents, and sister Gloria.

Dad was the smartest person I ever met. Family meant everything to him. I hope he will be proud of all of us as he watches over us..

 

Thunderbirds, a scary cat, and shadows

April 6

Thunderbirds, a scary cat, and shadows

I have always loved spooky stories. From the time I could read I always had a book full of ghostly tales. I didn't know if the stories were true. But, tales of ghosts, cryptids, and the undead fascinated me.

When I was 7 or 8 years old I remember the tabloids being full of stories about Thunderbirds, modern-day pterodactyls, screeching through the sky, and snatching up animals and small kids. Hey, I was a small kid. With an even smaller baby brother. Not going to happen on my watch. Imagine a tiny little Lola scanning the skies for danger while the other kids were playing on the monkey bars. I wonder if the kids ever realized that if it weren’t for my vigilance they could have been a snack for the Thunderbirds.

Anytime we visited my Dad’s family in lower Alabama the grownups always warned us to be careful while exploring the woods and pastures. The Alabama Wampus Cat was always lurking about. And a small child was a delicacy it craved. I remember watching Kolchak: The Night Stalker late at night on those visits.
Kolchak introduced me to new monsters: the loup-garou/rougarou, zombies, mummies, and the Mesopotamian Succubus. Heady stuff.
When I was 14 I got drunk for the first time. Tsk tsk. I was visiting a friend who’d moved back to her hometown. It was a tiny, middle-of-nowhere Arizona town on the border with Mexico. My friend and I went to bed when we realized how intoxicated we were. A little while later I had to use the restroom. As I returned to the bedroom I saw a tall, shadowy form looming over the bed. I woke my friend. We turned on the lights. Nothing there. But, she believed me. My friend’s family was Hispanic. The next morning we talked with my friend’s mom about what I'd seen. She told me a legend that the first time someone gets drunk a spirit follows them home. I have no idea if she just made this story up. I have never heard of or read it anywhere else. Unfortunately, I have been very intoxicated many times in the past. And I have never had a hallucination or seen anything similar again.
I know I’ve told y’all about Green Eyes, the monster who lived near my grandparents.

Over the years I have continued reading and watching stories about ghosts, mythical creatures, and other haunting things. I never had any personal experiences with paranormal/haunting things until…..

When my youngest son was in middle school we moved out of town into the country. It was a nice spot and there were woods and trails for the kids to explore. At the back of the house, we had sliding glass doors that faced the woods. There were floor-length, vertical window blinds in front of the windows. We kept these shut at night. Weird things started happening. Things didn't feel right. All of us would regularly get up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water, check the doors, etc. And we would always move the blinds slightly to look into the woods. Every single time we did this a huge cat would be on the top step staring into our home. This cat looked like if he were in human form he’d be a massive football player. He was mostly black with a few white tufts of fur on his chest and head. And I swear this cat looked like he had fangs. I can not describe the feeling of unease that settled on us whenever we saw this cat. If we saw him in daylight he would stare at us at the wood line. We named this cat Lestat. To this day my kids talk about Lestat and how he just felt ominous.

Several months after moving in I was on the computer late at night. My son was near me, and my daughter was in her bedroom.  Suddenly a loud metallic scraping sound emanated from the front of the house. All of us stopped whatever we were doing, jumped up, ran to the front door, and went to see what was making this god-awful sound.  Nothing there.  We all made sure we’d heard the same thing and eventually went to bed. The next morning my son and I walked the perimeter of our property to see if we could see any signs of what caused the noise. We didn’t really find anything. Except…it looked like three fingerprints had been burned into the screen covering my son’s window.
My son usually had friends spend the night on weekends and in the summer.  One Saturday morning we were all in the dining room area talking. The boys told me none of them had been able to sleep on Friday night. They kept seeing shadows moving under the door. There was a 3-inch gap between the bottom of the door and the floor.  All the boys swore this had actually happened and I was trying to figure out a logical explanation.
We had a piano in the dining room. The lid was down and the keys were covered. No one was sitting or standing next to the piano.  As we were talking the piano played 4 to 5 notes. We instantly shut up. We all agreed not to talk about spooky stuff in the house anymore.
There were enough creepy things going on that I talked to a friend who was part of a paranormal investigation group.  I was exploring the possibility of having her group check out the house for me. My husband vetoed the idea. I do wish I had followed through with the investigation.
There was a lot of negative energy and emotions in the household. I think this caused something to manifest and use that energy.
A few years later I was at my daughter-in-law’s parents’ house.  My daughter-in-law was upstairs dyeing her hair red. She wanted to surprise her mom. I was downstairs in the kitchen talking to her mom. I was facing the hallway and I saw the form of a girl wearing a pale blue 1950s crinoline skirt crouched over and creeping into the master bedroom. It took me a minute to process that this wasn’t my daughter-in-law. In later talks with my daughter-in-law's mom, she told me that she regularly saw and heard things that couldn’t explain. She did her best to ignore the unexplained occurrences.
When I lived in Lower Alabama I worked at a church. The church was the first church established in town- in 1883. In 1903 the current church was built in the High Victorian Gothic style that was popular for churches at the time. The church property was large. It took up a whole city block. Multiple buildings are connected by stairways and staircases. Mostly I worked alone. Many times I would be the only person in a building. One morning I was walking down the first-floor hallway in the original part of the church. I saw shadowy feet and lower legs walk directly in front of me and through the wall and disappear. Several times if I was in the hallway directly above this area I could hear an elderly man speaking. Once I heard him quizzically ask, “No??” The music director told me she regularly heard singing in the choir room when she was alone. It felt like a memory looping into the present time. Or a former member of the church who wanted to stay in the place that brought them peace and happiness.
About a year ago we moved into our current home. Lots of rooms, in the country, on 3 acres of land, and surrounded by dense woods. My grandkids aren’t afraid of anything. Except for bees, and flies. Last year we were living in an apartment. There were several times that I got up at 10 or 11 pm and found the boys had unlocked the patio door and were playing in the courtyard. So, definitely not afraid of the dark or anything in it.
Soon after we moved into the new house the kids started seeing shadows. My youngest grandson refused to go into any room by himself. Things just felt unsettled. My middle grandson came into my room late one night. His heart was beating wildly and he had a hard time getting words out. He finally told me that he had been in his bed playing on his tablet and heard a loud sigh directly by his ear. Things just kept occurring. Small things. But, the kids were scared and I wasn’t feeling good about the situation.
I talked to my neighbor who has lived in the neighborhood for over 30 years. Multiple houses have burned down on our road. There are less than 15 houses on the road. A few houses down from us two people were murdered by a drug dealer. The dealer believed the victims had reported his activities to the police.  A few years later a different family lived in the home. A two-year-old choked to death on a piece of dog food.  Another neighbor drowned in his own pond. And, I found out that kids were molested on the property we live on. It seems like an unusual amount of mayhem for a small, rural road.
I did a little research and talked to a few people. I bought sage and one morning when I was alone I walked through the house with burning sage. I chanted a simple mantra that asked for positivity and cleansing. Things calmed down. I recently saged the house again because of some mild spookiness.
In January we added extra security cameras outside the house because of some neighborhood shenanigans. When movement is detected for more than 10 seconds recordings begin, never more than a 30-second recording. If the alarm is turned on the cameras emit a warning sound. The multiple cameras are angled so there aren’t any blind spots near doors or windows.
This morning two backyard cameras recorded 10 separate events. And recorded for 90 seconds each time. The cameras labeled the events as person-detected.
The animals weren’t in the area. The wind wasn’t blowing. We checked the recordings. Nothing moving on the cameras.
If this happens again I’m salting all the doorways and windowsills. I will have sage candles burning in the house. And if anything really weird happens I’m calling in reinforcements. We have a friend of a friend who is a priest who blesses houses and pets.
I don’t have enough sage to cleanse 3 acres.

  My Grandpa and Bonnie & Clyde

A few months ago I was writing down stories about the monster that lived in my grandparent's woods. I reached out to my brother and a couple of cousins to see if they had memories/stories about the monster. 

My cousin, B, didn't remember anything about the monster. But, he asked me if I knew the story about our grandpa getting picked up by Bonnie & Clyde while hitchhiking during the time our grandpa was a traveling bible salesman in Texas.WHAT?! This couldn't be true! My grandpa: a bible salesman? In Texas? Bonnie & Clyde? Pfft. Couldn't be true. I checked with other relatives and my dad confirmed the story.

Let me give a little background. A few years ago I became interested in family history and whenever I had time I'd do research. Ancestry.com had an update not long ago and a lot of census records became available. One record intrigued me. A listing for my grandpa in New Orleans in 1930. It didn't make sense to me. My grandpa was the last person I could imagine living in New Orleans. But, I did further research and found he was a student at the Baptist Bible Institute in New Orleans at the time. This fits my knowledge of my grandpa. He later studied theology at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia. Grandpa did a little preaching and helped establish First Baptist Church in Warner Robins, Georgia.

The Baptist Bible Institute would provide students with a bus ticket and a suitcase full of bibles to sell. This helped raise funds for the student and the Institute. Once the students arrived at their destination they had to figure out their own transportation, lodging, etc. My grandpa got a bus ticket to Texas. He hitchhiked wherever he needed to get to. One day a nice, young couple picked him up. They were having a pleasant conversation and my grandpa realized the back of the car was full of guns. Grandpa remained calm, pretended not to see the guns, and continued talking to the couple. Soon the couple dropped my grandpa off. Bonnie & Clyde were active in the area at the time and were known to pick up hitchhikers. So, until his dying day, my grandpa believed the young couple was Bonnie and Clyde, and I'm sure he believed if he talked to them a little longer he could have saved their souls and averted all the mayhem that ensued. 

I have no idea how I didn't hear this story until I was 55 years old. But, I'm very glad my grandpa was unflappable and remained calm in a tense situation. He was a good man with a kind heart and I'm very glad he survived his time as a traveling bible salesman.

Zombie Apocalypse Team

 Zombie Apocalypse Team

When my youngest son was about 14 years old we began taking long walks at about 8 p.m. We lived out in the country. It was quiet and we discussed many things.

I remember J telling me the story of The Black-Eyed kids. Look that up. Pretty interesting and a good way to scare yourself. This night was extremely dark and the stars and moon weren’t visible. We were about two miles from home when J told me the story. I was properly spooked by the time we got home. I don’t think I slept that night.

We enjoyed zombie movies, books, and television shows. One night we started devising a plan on what we would have to do to survive “The Zombie Apocalypse”. We specifically talked about resources in our area. Over time we added more details to the plan. We tried to figure out how long we needed to hide at home. We discussed how we thought people in our area would react. I'm pretty sure we decided that two weeks was the right amount of time to let the dust settle. The initial panic would have calmed down and hopefully, people would have left the area. We talked about what resources to gather and what would increase the odds of long term survival. There was a military base nearby and we would need some military vehicles to roll over anything in our path. We tried to be strategic and make logical plans.

I don't believe a Zombie Apocalypse will ever happen. But, I used zombies as an example of civilization breaking down. I used these discussions as a thought exercise on how to save my loved ones in case of disaster. I may use the plans in a writing experiment one day. This was a fun way to pass the time on our walks.

When my future daughter-in-law joined the walks she didn’t know what to think about our Zombie Apocalypse plans. The amount of planning we had devoted to this shocked her. After listening to us she realized we weren’t batshit crazy.  We just loved to run our mouths to pass the time.

Occasionally I will still bring up my Zombie Apocalypse Team. These are the people I want to save and would be an asset in our quest for survival. I have excluded some people with skills and knowledge that would be useful. These people may have desirable skills or knowledge. But, they have shown themselves to be unreliable and unable to use good judgment. They have demonstrated behavior that is self-centered and disregards health and safety issues. I believe they would be a liability.

The main reason I have excluded people is I would rather get eaten by a zombie than survive the Apocalypse ( of any kind) in their company.

I haven’t excluded people because of physical limitations. If someone makes good decisions and I enjoy their company I want them on my team. Children and the elderly must be protected. I would fight through hordes of zombies to make sure the kiddos and my dad are safe.

The amount of time I have given to figuring out how to save the cats is ridiculous.If the team was on foot I think the cats would be fine. The cats would follow us and hopefully have enough sense to avoid the zombies and other dangers. One problem is the zombies would smell intriguing and this may interest the cats.

I'm not sure if we could save most of the dogs. They make entirely too much noise and some of the dogs are dumber than a box of hammers. But, I would have to try. My oldest son, T, would abandon the team if we didn’t try to save the dogs. He would wear a sling baby carrier carrying a half-blind, half-senile, mostly bald, and bad-tempered chihuahua. The rest of his motley crew of dogs would surround us and gallop through the Apocalypse, falling over their own feet. Imagine the Bumpus Hounds from The Christmas Story movie.

So, if you would like to be on my team, talk nonsense about outlandish scenarios, and love to run your mouth, hit me up. :)

 THE WEEK TEXAS FROZE OVER

Recently I lived in Texas for about four years. As a preschooler, I had lived in Texas for a couple of years and my brother was born there. I love Texas. It is a beautiful state with lots of places to ramble around and enjoy nature. 

Everyone should visit Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glen Rose. I have an official dinosaur hunting license issued in July 1971.  I hope that one day I can see the Marfa Lights.

Both times that we lived in Texas we were in the Fort Worth area. I loved Fort Worth, except for the never-ending construction projects. Any type of food that I desired was available. There were a variety of fun activities and wonderful parks. Most importantly, I loved the libraries in the area. 

Today I'm going to talk about the ten days that Texas froze. This was in February 2021. A large part of the country was affected by three winter storms that came one after another. I'm a huge weather junkie, and I have a crush on my favorite DFW weather person, Evan Andrews. I usually give my family a weather report every morning. My DIL told all her friends that she didn't watch the weather, she knew I'd tell her what was happening weatherwise. “ At about 10 am we are going to get rain. But, it will only last 22.5 minutes.”

 The weather people realized we were going to get a massive, damaging storm system come through and people needed to prepare. There were going to be multiple days of subzero temperatures and a large ice storm. People needed to winterize homes and vehicles and stock up on firewood, food, and medical supplies. I told my family. They thought the storm was overblown and there wouldn’t be any problems.

The first storm came through and caused a lot of ice on the roads. There was a 133-vehicle pile-up on I 35. At least six people died and dozens were injured. This was the route that most people used to travel from Fort Worth to the Dallas area. My DIL  used this route every workday.  Anytime Evan mentioned ice I made sure to tell my son and DIL so they could take extra time and precautions during their commutes. Of course, they think I’m Chicken Little. “Oh. Lola is just being paranoid again.” I have to admit that I get obsessed with severe weather possibilities. LOL.

A few days later the next storm system moved in. Glorious, beautiful snow fell. It looked like a scene from a movie about snow on Christmas. The kids had a blast playing outside in the snow. So, did the adults. I stayed by the bedroom window watching the snowfall for several hours.

The main power supplier for the state warned people that usage was exceeding the supply. Rolling blackouts were planned to ease the burden on the system.  The snow began to turn to ice. Sub-zero temperatures continued. Rolling blackouts started. But, the power grid failed. Texas experienced the worst energy failure in the state's history. 4.5 million homes and businesses had no power. Some of our neighbors were without power for about 10 days. Our home had no electricity for about 40 hours. After the power came back on we had to boil our water.

During the outage, we had a small amount of firewood. Most of it was too big for our fireplace. My son tried to cut it up with an ax and the ax broke. My son and DIL tried in vain to find firewood. But, there was none to be found. As the temperature inside our home continued to drop my DIL called hotels within 100 miles of us. She was trying to find a warm place for us, most importantly the kids, to stay. In desperation, she began calling RV dealerships trying to rent an RV. No luck. The dealerships couldn’t let anything leave the lot because the lot and all the roads were covered in thick ice.

I followed the advice of the weather experts. I shut the curtains and blinds to keep the heat in, had every faucet in the house dripping, put layers of clothes on the kids and myself, and tried to limit the amount exterior doors that were opened.

But, we had visitors. And they were actively going behind me and undoing my efforts. They reopened the blinds, turned off faucets, and ran around the house wearing thin pajamas. They actively sabotaged my efforts to keep the house warm and pipes safe. We had a small fire going. I was trying to conserve the wood for the night. The visitors tried to build a roaring fire instead of putting on warm clothing. I realized the power might be out for several days and I was taking sensible precautions. 

The visitors also wanted to go out to eat. “Sandwiches!! Who wants to eat a sandwich?! I want to go to that restaurant we  talked about last night.” Which was 30 minutes away. There were at least 6 inches of ice covering all the roads for hundreds of miles. News stations and Emergency Management authorities were advising EVERYONE to stay home, stay off the roads, and find a way to stay warm. Within a few hours of the power going out, I was ready to beat the visitors with a large stick, or maybe a shovel. The feeling was mutual. 

Every few hours we piled into our vehicles and turned on the heat. When we went to bed that night we made sure the kids and pets were sleeping with at least one adult. Every blanket in the house was piled on the beds.

I truly did not know if we would wake up in the morning. Before my cell phone died I sent messages to my loved ones that lived out of the area. If I died I wanted to make sure they knew how much I loved them. I didn't say anything to alarm them. But, I made sure to message my other kids, my dad, and my brother. I kissed the two grandkids sleeping with me and told them I loved them. I spent the night listening to them breathe. Later estimates of the death toll from these storms range from 250 to over 700 people. Children died sleeping in their own beds. Car crashes, carbon monoxide poisoning, and house fires all contributed to the death toll.

At lunch, we loaded into the van. We had to find someplace to get warm for at least a little while. My son and DIL called all over DFW trying to find a restaurant that was open. We found a place and it took about an hour to get there. I'm very glad my DIL was driving and the van had a snow-driving setting. I’d trust my DIL to drive through the Apocalypse and its aftermath. Yes, she may scare me half to death. But, she’s going to get us there. The restaurant had a smattering of people in it. Two employees were handling everything. The smile and cheerfulness of our waitress were dearly needed. We didn’t mind the wait. It was warm and everyone was glad to get a hot meal. I was counting the seconds until sundown, and dreading it more than words can describe.

Our power came back on three to four hours after we got back home. The relief I felt was all-encompassing. I had been in excruciating emotional turmoil and finally, I had some relief. We had sub-freezing temperatures for a few more days. Our wonderful neighbors banded together. Many of the neighbors whose power was back on made huge pots of food. They offered a warm meal, a place to charge cell phones, and a chance to sit in warmth for our neighbors in need. 

It took about three days to clean and wash everything that needed it. But, we were lucky. As the pipes thawed, frozen pipes burst. Several of our neighbors had their entire 2nd-floor crash onto the 1st floor. A soggy, half-frozen mishmash of flooring, insulation, and whatever had been on the 2nd floor. It took several months for repairs to be made. There was so much damage down throughout the whole region that plumbers, contractors, and other repair people were booked for several months.

In the time since the power grid failure, the government and state officials of Texas have done little to actually fix the problems with the power grid. They knew of the issues for several years before the storms of February 2021. But, they have more important things to do. Stripping away voting rights, targeting women’s reproductive rights, and the rights of the LGBTQ community. And of course, ignoring school shootings.

I love Texas. I miss many things about Texas and we made so many good memories while we lived there.  But, I despise the state officials and bureaucrats that are in charge. This storm and the Covid pandemic were major factors in the decision our family made to get out of Texas and move closer to the rest of our family. 

We just need to find some good restaurants in South Carolina.